#36: What do boys need in order to fully bloom?
with Michael Reichert, PhD
In this episode we discuss…
what led michael to the work he does with boys and young men
why gender is a “body practice”
how body dysmorphia impacts boys and men
the “adonis complex” and rigid messages about the idealized masculine body
how boys are encouraged to use their bodies as an instrument through sports
pressure to be “masculine” and its consequences for boys’ psychological and physical health
judy chu’s study on the changes in boys between ages 4 and 6 as they conform to masculine norms
the man box study on messages to “man up,” and where the messages come from, including parents and school
the “hidden curriculum” and learning in school about gender
the negative impact of pressure to conform to a masculine ideal on emotional functioning, educational investment, participation in civic society, and participation in relationships
zoë and leslie’s observations of gender messaging in their own children’s schools
why you can’t totally insulate your son because messaging will seep in no matter what - even from yourself
an early experience michael had communicating about masculinity with his own son, and what he learned from it
the role of connection in helping boys cultivate and hold on to their authentic selves
parents’ role as a container, relational anchor, and secure base
michael’s strategies of deep listening, special time, and setting limits - how parents can use them, and why they’re particularly important for raising boys
michael’s answer to the million dollar question
Psychologist Dr. Michael Reichert discusses the unique challenges of boyhood, pressures boys face to conform to masculine ideals, and the power of relationships to fortify boys in response. He shares strategies parents can use to cultivate their connection to their sons and help them hold on to their authentic selves.
Dr. Michael Reichert is a psychologist who has worked in a variety of clinical, school, community and research contexts over the course of a long career. He serves as Executive Director of the Center for the Study of Boys’ and Girls’ Lives, a research collaborative at the University of Pennsylvania, and is supervising psychologist at The Haverford School outside Philadelphia. In clinical practice outside Philadelphia, PA, he has long specialized in work with boys, men and their families. He led research teams that have conducted studies of boys’ education, resulting in presentations, publications and professional development workshops for educators throughout the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Ireland, South Africa, New Zealand and Australia. He also founded an urban youth development program in the tri-state region around Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, which was recognized as a “promising practice” in violence prevention by the state’s Attorney General. His writing has been published in The Atlantic, New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, Time, Fatherly. Good Men Project and others. His books include Reaching Boys, Teaching Boys: Lessons About What Works—and Why (Wiley/Jossey Bass, 2010), I Can Learn From You: Boys as Relational Learners (Harvard Educational Press, 2014), and How to Raise a Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men.
Connect with Michael on his website.
Resources mentioned:
The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of Male Body Obsession by Harrison G. Pope Jr.
episode #3 of the full bloom podcast on “beauty sickness”
michael’s recent book How to Raise a Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men
When Boys Become Boys: Development, Relationships, and Masculinity by Judy Chu
the “man box study” by promundo
Gender Play: Girls and Boys in School by Barrie Thorne
michael’s article “It’s Dangerous to Be a Boy” in the new york times