#57: What can I do when social media really upsets my daughter?
with Stephanie Jacobs, PhD
In this episode we discuss…
a listener question from a parent feeling overwhelmed and helpless in response her daughter’s intense body image distress
Stephanie’s background (including as Leslie’s mentor!) in the fields of eating disorders and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
how it’s common for parents to get distressed and activated by our children’s distress
an overview of the principles of DBT
Mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness
using mindfulness to look at what’s in your control
validation as “acknowledging someone else’s experience as their experience”
why validation is not the same as agreement
why going straight to problem-solving can lead to accidental invalidation
reality acceptance and crisis survival skills
why distress tolerance doesn’t necessarily make you feel better
examples of distress tolerance skills and how to use them
the value of parents practicing the skills on their own, and then teaching them to their children
self-compassion and a reminder that the goal is to practice skills, not achieve perfection
stephanie’s answer to the million dollar question
Clinical psychologist Dr. Stephanie Jacobs joins Leslie to answer a question from a parent feeling overwhelmed and helpless in the face of her teenage daughter’s intense emotions. Stephanie gives a crash course in the concepts of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and how distress tolerance skills might be useful for this parent. We discuss why parents may want to manage their own emotional activation before jumping in to help their kids, validation and what it sounds like, concrete examples of DBT distress tolerance skills, and how parents and kids can start putting them into practice today.
Stephanie Jacobs, phd is a licensed clinical psychologist, who works with adults, adolescents, children, families, schools and organizations. Dr. Jacobs has extensive training and experience using Cognitive-Behavioral Therapies (CBT), Family Based Treatment (FBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to treat eating disorders, anxiety disorders, OCD and related disorders, substance abuse, personality disorders, as well as varying behavioral and emotional challenges. In addition to conducting individual, couples and family therapy, Dr. Jacobs leads CBT and DBT skills training groups. Dr. Jacobs uses her breadth and depth of knowledge to individually tailor treatment to the children, adolescents and adults with whom she works.
Dr. Jacobs received her undergraduate degree from Binghamton University, her master’s degree (MHC) from Brooklyn College, and her doctoral degree (Ph.D.) from Fairleigh Dickinson University. While practicing as a clinical psychologist at the Mount Sinai Health System, Dr. Jacobs also held roles as the Program Director of the Mount Sinai Eating and Weight Disorder Program’s Adolescent Intensive Care program, as well as Director of Outreach and Prevention. She completed her pre-doctoral internship at the Center for Motivation and Change (CMC) treating substance abuse disorders and co-occurring disorders within outpatient and intensive outpatient/day program settings. Dr. Jacobs is a member of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies and the Academy of Eating Disorders, currently co-chairing the special interest group for FBT.
Resources mentioned or recommended:
Behavioral Tech (DBT training organization)
DBT resources for clients and families