#29: How do I talk to my kid's docs?

with Zoë Bisbing, LCSW and Leslie Bloch, LCSW-R

listen here


In this episode we discuss…

  • a listener question about how to effectively request that family members, doctors, and others refrain from commenting on her five-month-old baby’s shape or size and using language like “big girl” to describe her (even jokingly)

  • What dialectical behavioral therapy (dbt) is and what it is used for

  • the four categories of dbt skills: emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness

  • why these skills are useful for all parents

  • Using the “dearman” skill when making a request or resolving a conflict

  • how many listeners have similar questions about how to address non-body-positive language with loved ones while maintaining the relationship

  • walking through how to use dearman to address the pediatrician in the listener question

  • d: describe, e: express, a: assert, r: reinforce

  • M: (stay) mindful, a: appear confident, N: negotiate

  • examples, challenges, and ideas for each stage of the conversation, including why many people struggle with the “assert” step in dearman

  • how using dearman and effective communication doesn’t come naturally to many of us

  • ideas for planning and rehearsing your conversation in advance to build confidence and effectiveness

  • benefits to your kids who see you modeling effective communication

It’s just Zoë and Leslie this week, answering a listener question about how to ask family members and her pediatrician not to make comments about her five-month-old baby’s shape or size. We use a skill from DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) to walk through an effective strategy for communicating this request, and brainstorm together possible solutions for issues that could come up.

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Resources mentioned:

Jordan Best