“Mom, I’m so fat.”

When you’re raising a daughter, hearing this comment for the first time can stop you in your tracks. Maybe it comes sooner than you expected — researchers have found that body image concerns can start as early as 3 or 4 years old. Or maybe you’ve been anticipating this moment, because you know that it’s sadly more common than not for girls to have troubled relationships with their bodies. 

The first time your daughter turns down her favorite ice cream at the beach because she’s worried about how she looks in her bathing suit… or has a meltdown because she’s tried on five outfits and nothing looks right... or straight up asks you, “Does it look like I’ve gained weight?”... What can you do?

We’re answering that question on the Ashlyn Lee blog today. You can read our answer here.

We discuss:

• Why to resist the urge to respond with a reassuring, “you’re not fat, you’re perfect!”

• Keeping body size neutral and value-free

• Beauty ideals and how you can help your daughter resist internalizing them

• Why your daughter needs to hear that she will grow into exactly the body she is meant to have

• Why this journey will be harder for girls in larger bodies, and they need extra support from you

• What to do if you’re worried about health

• The power of modeling neutrality about your own weight — and resources to help you do so